My most important discovery
In the history of my life, he was my wheel, my Pearl Harbor, the bomb, my most important discovery. Even after two years, I could never take my eyes off him. I only ever look at the sky like that. "I want for nothing," I'd tell him. "You are the one," he'd tell me. We'd declare holidays for any reasons whatsoever - because it was Friday, because he'd gotten a bonus, because it was hot outside, because we simply deserved it, whatever. We'd hide like guilty children under the blankets when I would call the office to say I was ill. He'd try not to giggle and it felt like we were playing truant.
In the morning, we'd awaken, he'd sit up, cross his arms above his head and stretch, his back long to me, white sheets falling away from him like wrapper from an expensive jewellery box. Beyond him, the city rises towards the sun, and the blue sky, like him, stretches tall like the skyscrapers framed by the emerging morning. Oh I truly love it!!
It was difficult to say, "I love you". There is no greater commitment than in those three words. But, with him, I could tell it so many times. Other times when he was fast asleep and snoring gently, I'd tell him. I guess I couldn't stop myself from feeling it.
One time after making love, I lay on top of him. "Heavy?" I asked quietly. "Nah" he would say. Even if he doesnt know, It was one of the most exciting feeling in the world....
Looking back, I think about how funny it was the way we slept together. It's just that I didn't realize then how well we fitted into place. He took the right side of the bed and I took the left.
In most of my friends relationships, they would discuss which side each of them wanted. In more than some, they surrendered their preferred corner and rolled over to the other side. But with this us, it was never discussed. We simply fell into place. I wonder now if he noticed it.
On some nights, as I watched his sleep, silent save for his breathing, he would suddenly wake up, his arms finding me through the blanket and he would gently hug me as i roll over his side.
He set the standard to which every other man in my life was measured. And no one measured up. I'd miss him even while I was with him. Sure, there's the passion of the nuclear fusion between two people, and there's the happiness of times shared, and the excitement of discovery and rediscovery. But to be content is where it's truly at, like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.
We never ran out of words, Even when we shared our fears. I feel the sensations that actually come with these conversations that enhance the quest for the search for someone..something. These little soirees of mind and body. This millieu of relationships and encounters of passions and understanding. A mutual "feel" of what is good and right for you and them. Feel the relationship. The affair. The conversation. The communion of the senses. Yours. His. Mine.
I could never replace this feelings anything in this world. And this is having him here with me...
In the morning, we'd awaken, he'd sit up, cross his arms above his head and stretch, his back long to me, white sheets falling away from him like wrapper from an expensive jewellery box. Beyond him, the city rises towards the sun, and the blue sky, like him, stretches tall like the skyscrapers framed by the emerging morning. Oh I truly love it!!
It was difficult to say, "I love you". There is no greater commitment than in those three words. But, with him, I could tell it so many times. Other times when he was fast asleep and snoring gently, I'd tell him. I guess I couldn't stop myself from feeling it.
One time after making love, I lay on top of him. "Heavy?" I asked quietly. "Nah" he would say. Even if he doesnt know, It was one of the most exciting feeling in the world....
Looking back, I think about how funny it was the way we slept together. It's just that I didn't realize then how well we fitted into place. He took the right side of the bed and I took the left.
In most of my friends relationships, they would discuss which side each of them wanted. In more than some, they surrendered their preferred corner and rolled over to the other side. But with this us, it was never discussed. We simply fell into place. I wonder now if he noticed it.
On some nights, as I watched his sleep, silent save for his breathing, he would suddenly wake up, his arms finding me through the blanket and he would gently hug me as i roll over his side.
He set the standard to which every other man in my life was measured. And no one measured up. I'd miss him even while I was with him. Sure, there's the passion of the nuclear fusion between two people, and there's the happiness of times shared, and the excitement of discovery and rediscovery. But to be content is where it's truly at, like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows.
We never ran out of words, Even when we shared our fears. I feel the sensations that actually come with these conversations that enhance the quest for the search for someone..something. These little soirees of mind and body. This millieu of relationships and encounters of passions and understanding. A mutual "feel" of what is good and right for you and them. Feel the relationship. The affair. The conversation. The communion of the senses. Yours. His. Mine.
I could never replace this feelings anything in this world. And this is having him here with me...
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